Here’s something I don’t get: technology has surpassed nearly everyone’s greatest dreams.
We have paper. The steam engine. The telephone, the television, the internet.
The toaster, the microwave, the smartphone, one-click ordering.
We put a man on the moon.
I can do my taxes online.
I can have groceries delivered to my door two hours after I order them.
So why can’t I get a printer that works?
I know, I know, I know. Why am I printing? Don’t I know I can do everything on my phone?
But surely even the most paperless among us sometimes requires a hard copy.
I currently own two printers, in the hopes that at least one will work at any given moment.
While laptops and phones can take a beating—they’re dropped, scuffed, banged and swiped on all day long and for the most part work without a hitch, a printer must always be treated with kid gloves.
One wrong look and it jams. And jams again.
And jams again until you’re ready to throw the thing out the window. (But first checking to make sure your backup printer works, of course).
My printers are always complaining. They’re out of ink, they’re out of paper, the paper is too thick and jams, the paper is too thin and the rollers won’t pick it up. I can’t do anything right. My printer may be as close as I ever get to having a mother-in-law.
And my latest printer (bought because my oldest one nearly drove me to distraction) has the added degree of difficulty of being wireless.
Which seems great, except it never seems to recognize my laptop. It’s got an ominous blue light of death that won’t turn off no matter how long I hold down the power button. I usually have to unplug it, and even then, the light turns off so slowly that I fear it’s about to turn into a flesh-eating monster à la a Stephen King novel and devour me.
The root cause seems to be how long I leave it on without using it. Under thirty minutes and it’s fine. Over that, and the trouble starts.
This thing is a bigger diva than Mariah Carey.
Please tell me I’m not the only one.