In last Sunday’s blog, I resisted the urge to rant about library fines (or the lack thereof), so this week I feel that I’ve earned the right to whine just a bit.
Indulge me, won’t you?
Last week I went to Macy’s to buy a small two-quart Dutch oven. I have a huge 8 quart version for when I want to cook in big batches, but sometimes I just need a pot for one. I’d been keeping an eye on the price, and when Macy’s put them on sale, I snatched one up.
I was in a bit of a hurry, but the clerk was not about to let me go without getting some information.
Am I paying with my Macy’s charge card? (I was not.)
Did I have a Macy’s charge card? (I do not.)
Did I want a Macy’s charge card? (Long sigh. I did not.)
Did I understand that I could save 10% if I opened up a Macy’s charge card? (Yes, I did.)
And I still didn’t want to sign up? I just wanted to leave money on the table?
At this point, I’m fully annoyed. The woman was not pushy, and I know she was just doing her job. But an inconvenient part of modern life is that you can no longer just go into a store, take something to a sales clerk, slap some cash on the counter and get out of there.
First you have to play twenty questions. You can’t even go to a drug store or gas station without being asked if you have their loyalty card, if you want their loyalty card, and do you want to give them your e-mail address for coupons?
The Macy’s woman went for the e-mail question next.
“Do you want to give me your e-email?”
I did not.
“But you will get coupons.”
“Look,” I finally snapped. “Five years ago I bought a bra from Victoria’s Secret and they’ve been e-mailing me ten times a day ever since. Ten times a day!”
I could see that I had finally found a way to put us on equal footing – we now both wanted this conversation to end.
“But you see—” she began.
“I’m not saying Macy’s is going to send me ten e-mails a day. I know you’re doing your job. But I just cannot take all these e-mails from Victoria’s Secret anymore. And I can’t get rid of them. Even when I unsubscribe, they just keep coming.”
Finally, she cracked.
“I know!” she exclaimed. “I can’t get rid of those Victoria’s Secret emails either!”
“No matter what we do,” I told her. “We’ll be getting them until we die. Until long after!”
“Yes!” she agreed, then seemed to remember herself. “But Macy’s will not e-mail you more than twice a week and you can opt out…”
Surely she had to know that I wasn’t https://melanienovak.com/2022/07/24/macys-can-blame-victorias-secret-for-not-getting-my-email-address/giving her my e-mail.
In fact, I may never give out my e-mail, phone number, or address again. I don’t need you to swipe my loyalty card so I can get a free cup of coffee after spending one million dollars.
Just take my money and let me go.
I’ve got cooking to do.
In my new Dutch oven.