Fever Dreams

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Roberto Clemente Bridge, in front of the Pirates PNC Park, Covered in dynamite.

 

As readers of last week’s blog know, I came down with a nasty case of the winter cold. I regret to inform the reader that after last week’s post, my symptoms did not improve.  Quite the opposite.  I spent Monday, most of Tuesday, and Wednesday home from work, sneezing, shivering, and coughing.

But the worst of it were the dreams. They were confusing and horrifying.  Mostly they terrified while making no sense.  I can only assume they were brought about by the fever.

I had the first dream on Sunday. In a daze of sweat and confusion, I slept fitfully on the couch with the television on.  In the dream, the Steelers scored six touchdowns and lost a playoff game in which they were heavily favored.  Can you imagine?  The insanity of watching Big Ben toss five bombs into the end zone, and Le’Veon Bell run for another and then losing the game.

Impossible. What an imagination my subconscious has!

From there, it only got crazier. I dreamed the Pirates traded their ace pitcher Gerrit Cole to the Astros for Bryan Reynolds and Kyle Crick.  I wonder how my brain came up with those names, as no one who watches baseball has ever heard of them.  Must’ve seen them on a mailbox on my way home.  No one would trade a former number one overall draft pick for a couple of nobodies, right?

And here’s where it gets really outrageous. My crazy addled brain then dreamed that forty-hours after trading Cole, the Pirates traded Andrew McCutchen.  Yes, that’s right, the 2013 league MVP was traded for two minor league prospects, a seven-win pitcher, and a third baseman with thirty-four total major league at bats.

Where does my brain get this stuff? I can only surmise that I am still traumatized from when the last true Pirates superstar, Barry Bonds, was traded to the very same San Francisco Giants.  Cutch in a Giants uniform?  It would be terrifying if it wasn’t so ridiculous.

To top things off, I had one final dream about the Penguins. There’s plenty of season left, but in my dream the two-time defending Stanley Cup champions were a bad game away from losing their current playoff position to their arch rivals the Philadelphia Flyers.

Fortunately, my fever broke in time to write this blog. I’ve got a few minutes before the Steelers take on Brady and Belichick in the rematch for the AFC Championship that Mike Tomlin promised me.

Before the game starts, I think I’ll scan the sports blogs and catch up on any Pirates and Pens news I may have missed….

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