Ladies and gentlemen, we have a happy ending!
After being missing for thirteen days and presumed dead, the marshmallow was found alive and unharmed early this morning.
The marshmallow had been missing since December 26, when she and her friend, the hot chocolate mug were kidnapped from their place on top of the microwave by Blinker Novak, a notorious one-eyed bandit. Blinker has been arrested multiple times on suspicion of kidnapping and murdering crinkly toys, but has never been convicted.
It was widely believed that Blinker was responsible for the kidnapping, and the marshmallow was indeed found with Blinker.
Blinker had taken the marshmallow from the top of the microwave in retribution for her missing Christmas Eve dinner. She dragged the marshmallow into the last place her owner would ever look—into her cat carrier, which she normally avoids like the plague (covid?) as it means a trip to the vet.
Blinker and the marshmallow were found cuddled together in the carrier. The marshmallow insists she is quite happy, though the authorities strongly suspect Stockholm syndrome.
The marshmallow has declined to press charges.