When It Comes to Coffee, Leave Nothing to Chance

This week, my uncle posted this on Facebook:

Reader, I have never felt so seen. The only thing I’m more afraid of than the coffee maker breaking are snakes.

Picture this scenario:  you wake up in the early morning dark of winter.  It’s bitterly cold and the roads are covered in snow.

You’re not going anywhere today.

You shuffle into the kitchen and switch on the light.  Before your eyes even have time to adjust, the light goes dark again.  The furnace kicks off.  The refrigerator goes silent.

You’ve lost power.

There are books to entertain yourself, thick socks and blankets to stay warm, and plenty of food.

But without electricity, there’s no coffee.

Or picture this:  it’s a Sunday in the heat of summer, and you wake late to the bright light of day.  You bounce down to the kitchen, feed the cat, and take the coffee pot’s plastic basket out of the dishwasher.

You hear the tiniest of pings and your heart stops.

What is that dreadful sound?

Simple coffee pots (I’m leaving Keurig and its ilk out of this discussion) are a modern marvel.  They’re simple, make coffee quickly and to your exact specifications.  But they’ve got a weak point—the little spring in the bottom of the basket.

Make a wrong move and this thing pops out and is impossible to get back in.  A tiny piece, but the pot won’t work without it.

If you don’t drink coffee, or use a Keurig, you’re probably lost.  But every fan of the Mr. Coffee 12 cup drip knows exactly what I’m talking about.

These are just two scenarios in which you can be forced to start the day without coffee.

Without coffee, I’m not me.

And instant is not coffee.

I’ve had both of these happen to me, and I can assure you, they will never happen again.

Fool me once….

Now I’ve got my foolproof three pot coffee backup system.

Pot #1 is my main pot, a 12 cup Black and Decker drip machine.  This is my workhorse—it stays on my kitchen counter, and gets loaded every morning right after I feed Blinker the Cat.

If the spring breaks, I’ve got a miniature 5 cup drip machine as a backup.  This little guy can jump in at any time and get the job done.

As a side benefit, this is also my travel coffee pot.  Yes, I take a coffee pot on vacation with me.  Because have you ever closely inspected the insides of a hotel coffee pot?  When do you think it was last cleaned?

Never is the answer.

So I take my mini 5 cup, my own coffee, and I’m happy as a pig in mud.

If the hotel has wonderful coffee or there’s a cute little coffee shop next door, great.

If there’s nothing but one disgusting pot in the room with cheap coffee, I’m covered.

But the drip pots both have a serious flaw—they need electricity.

Which still leaves me vulnerable to the power going out before I’ve had my first cup of the day.

That’s where pot #3 comes in—the French press.

The French press is way too fussy for me to use on a daily basis—you heat the water, put the coffee in, let it sit for a few minutes, and then use the plunger to push out the grounds.  They say it provides a superior cup, but I don’t taste much of a difference.

But you know what it doesn’t need?

Electricity. 

Fortunately I have a gas stove, so I can boil the water even without power.

You may think this is overkill.

But that’s because you’ve never seen me un-caffeinated.